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You would have thought that the Catholic Church had learnt one lesson from the scandalous history of the past few years – the need for transparency. It seems not. I have received a report of bullying that a Head Teacher has refused to investigate. The report is not yet substantiated as I am not an investigative journalist. However, it can be – and independently. Until it is I will not reveal the name of the school or the individual that has been brought to my attention.

Let us be clear that I am not in favour of mollycoddling children. The world for which they are being prepared is a tough one; they need to learn that early on. Too many children are spoilt by their parents today, often in an attempt to assuage the guilt attached to being a mother / wage earner. Society has yet to learn that women cope brilliantly with both without neglecting their young.

So the rough and tumble of school is a necessary rite of passage into the troublesome, unfair and often ruthless adult world. A certain amount of fighting for your corner is good – watch young jackal cubs at play on Nat Geo Wild. They learn in a thoroughly practical way that the hierarchy (where have I heard that word before?) of the pack is determined early on and democratic discussion does not figure high on the list of causes.

We are not jackals but the world in which we live is rapacious and we must be trained to handle it. Bullying is another matter. The process of toughening up our young is not to be left to indiscriminate mistreatment or behaviour that threatens the welfare or sanity of children. Even jackals know that.

Decisions concerning what to do about alleged bullying must, of course, incorporate the views of the professional teachers involved as well as those of the parents and a balance must be struck between over-protection and danger, if any exists. The job of the School Principal is to investigate. Apart from anything else it concentrates the minds of those who would report bullying, making then think about what is best for the child, not what is merely some theoretical right.

Teachers have a tough job today and so do parents. The old order of discipline, respect and good behaviour is threatened all over the world. Adjusting to handling it is difficult. Key is the partnership between parents and teachers. If that doesn’t work, children suffer, sometimes with tragic consequences. We do not bring our children up to be delicate flowers. They must have the guts and flexibility of the sunflower to cope with the bed of weeds in which they may find themselves.

If, like the sunflower, they keep facing the light, they will succeed.