CLICK to listen to the audio version of this Daily Paradox

The more we hear how important communications are the worse they get. Why? You will remember that I referred to communications in an earlier part of this series (Time is power). Mismanaged companies, I said, destroyed communications because of a perceived lack of time.

We hear about quality time with children and between spouses but seldom about quality time with staff. The behaviour of many businesses suggests that the opposite is happening – meetings, procedures and the press of work are making time for bosses and staff to communicate almost impossible.

And yet we all know that communication lies at the centre of the human race. It is what has enabled us to develop beyond instinct. It is what gives meaning to life and the chance to exchange information and ideas which form the basis of our development.

Unfortunately the word communications is not understood. The Seinfeld scriptwriters motto is “No hugging, no learning”. They are right. I’m not suggesting that all employers hug their employees every morning; some cultures discourage it. But the physical form of hugging – so important in many societies – can be replaced by mental hugging. I know; as an ‘email Mentor’ I do it all the time.

Good communication is when two people tell each other the truth without fear of misunderstanding or offence. Telling the truth requires you to trust the person in whom you are confiding. How do you establish that trust and, once established, how do you keep it? Paradoxically, as you trust others less, so you are even less able to trust them. The more you trust others, the more you will gain and keep their trust. But you then have to live up to it.

The huge success of the America economy demonstrates that openness in business is financially rewarding; there are no businesses in the world more open than theirs and no economy that has been consistently stronger. The belief that commercial secrets can be kept is mythical in today’s world. Since we cannot control it, we should encourage it. Inside information is no longer inside when it is outside.

What are the implications for employers and employees of the TAR (Talk And Relax) system of management?

1. Everyone has to listen. The growing cacophony of noise being directed at us means that we increasingly turn off the sound and fail to listen. I have seen a man’s life ruined because his boss refused him a loan and failed to listen to why he wanted it. The boss, in my opinion, bore more responsibility for the subsequent illegal behaviour of his employee than did the employee himself.
2. We have to make time. Any good organiser can free up at least thirty percent of the time wasted in a business on pointless ritual. A plea that we have no time is an admission of incompetence and false priorities.
3. We have to care more about the other person than about ourselves. That means we understand and seek to meet their needs, hopes, ambitions. And here’s another paradox. The more we care about the other person, the more they care about us.
4. We have to persevere. Communications isn’t something you do for half an hour on Friday mornings; it’s something you do 24/7.

What are the respective roles of the boss and the employee in communicating?

They both bear an equal responsibility. If your boss doesn’t talk to you, talk to him or her. If you colleagues don’t talk to you, talk to them. If employees don’t talk to their bosses, the bosses must talk to them.

Go on, have a good chat. It’ll pay you handsomely.