Define yourself –
it’s later than you think

The foundation of all the decisions we make is self-knowledge. We become self-aware early in life. It is what makes us human. Few animals are self-aware – put them in front of a mirror and they think an enemy is trespassing on their plot. Many will become hostile at their own image. Strangely, so do humans but not, for the most part, in a physical, aggressive way. Being self-aware, however, is only the beginning of self-knowledge. Understanding ourselves is the key to a meaningful life. Strange that it doesn’t seem to be taught much – not at school, nor home, nor Uni.

If we are taught anything it is often the dark side of our nature. Original sin is a concept that you are born guilty due to an ancestor’s misbehaviour. The misbehaviour part may be credible. The guilt isn’t. How can a newborn baby, the epitome of innocence, be guilty for another’s wrongdoing? Whether that is part of our upbringing or not, it is likely that we will be regarded as inherently wicked. Naughty children is a widely accepted idea – ‘terrible twos’, ‘recalcitrant teenagers’. Some parents now see that these stages of growing up are necessary explorations.

They run their courses just enough to help (most of us) cope with the day-to-day business of living and breeding. Even though they are largely trial and error, they help us to make enough sense of the world to get by. And that is precisely the problem. A life of ‘getting by’ is not a fulfilled or happy one. It is a struggle that exhausts, an effort that appears unrewarding. Your times as baby, toddler, child, adolescent and teenager prepare you for adulthood, almost the longest in the animal world. Liberated from the slavery of back-breaking work 15 hours a day, we should enjoy it.

Sadly, many don’t. I see people all the time who are unhappy, mainly with themselves. They project their sadness onto the world, blame others for it, regret the circumstances of birth that caused it. We know that there are true depressions though we are often unaware of their causes. Early childhood clearly has the biggest influence on us. Trouble is, once it is done, it is done. Reflecting the tragedies that caused a warped personality isn’t a ‘fix’ but it can confirm the problem forever.

A life spent repeatedly glimpsing at yourself in the mirror to check the warts isn’t much fun. It’s the equivalent of sms-ing the doctor a three-word complaint and hoping for a cure. Diagnosis needs more than a passing reference. If you are going to study something, do it properly. Take time, discover the whole picture. Delve into the recesses of your being. Get help to interpret what you see. An MRI scan is a deep picture of the body. PASDAQ® is the MRI for Personality.

Where you came from and how you got here is fascinating stuff. Where you can go to is even more interesting.

What your background gave you affected you. It did not define you.

You choose what defines you.

If you’d like to know more about PASDAQ® please ask me [email protected].

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