‘Tis the season for Pantomimes. I hope you saw my review of the stunning Mama White Snake 04Dec17. If they can engage and amuse me they have won! But there’s another, more melancholy pantomime going on in the politics of the world. Watch the BBC’s ‘Have I got news for you’ and you will see that virtually all their material is based on political characters who appear artificial and puppet-like. They speak as though they were robots.

Lead role goes without question to the Pantomime Horse – you know, the one that lives in The White Stables. His habit of kicking up Tweets on rising in the morning so that his colleagues can spend the day explaining that they didn’t actually say what they appeared to has become so ingrained that he may have to go for re-training soon. It is feared the sawdust from the ring has got into his brain. I’m told Tweeter are begging him to stop.

The cast isn’t small, however. Over in Brussels there’s an antiquated ‘Juncker Drone’ smiling the smile of blood as he mangles the Almost United Kingdom. ‘Maybe May’ plays opposite him in what can be described as a difficult role where the carpet is pulled from under her feet every time she stands up. Good pantomime stuff but tough on those past their first bouncing prime of youth. There is the usual repeater character who says everything so many times you give up correcting him. He is called ‘Greece’. Good at getting out of scrapes, mind.

But the ‘Big Bad Wolf’ is of course in North Korea. The kids love the fireworks but are not keen on going to bed hungry to pay for them. Several threats to burn down the theatre have prompted a Mighty Military Parade by the Pantomime Horse but so far, thank goodness, it only amounts to a damp squib. Keep it that way, Trumpo!

Meanwhile in Money Making Malaysia the rich are very grateful for such benevolence, as will be the American wealthy when their Tax Bill, specifically aimed at making the poor poorer, is passed into law. What this art of pantomime has demonstrated is that democracy is now solely about the majority killing the minority. Rationale: Too many people so better to keep the ones like us and dispose of the rest. ‘Dragon Duterte’ energetically thinks so anyway.

The Good Fairy appears – perhaps you never thought he would – in Zimbabwe. After 37 despotic years the Old Man (forgive me, but he really is old) has reluctantly given way to unblemished 75-year-old youthful ‘Magician Mnangagwa’ who will see everybody right at last. Or, rather, those he likes. Not the 20,000 he didn’t like and allegedly got rid of, of course. Nice to have an angel at the helm at last. Good tidings of Great Joy, what?

This Pantomime reveals that not only is democracy rotting but all the currencies are too. So many of the characters have taken the sensible step of inventing their own. They call it Crypto. I call it Blipton Snake Oil. You can apply it to anything human or not; it cures all ills. There are many brands of this ingenious stuff and each one makes someone at the top of the pyramid a fortune. Others sustain losses of course but that is to be expected.

I could go on but if I did the Pantomime would turn into a farce rather than the People’s Pyramid it clearly is. I can only think that something has gone drastically wrong and “They” have lost the spirit of service and cooperation. As a result we are now heading for the Second Agricultural Age when the wise have their plot, grow their carrots and avoid all contact with the outside world.

Me? Well, force majeure I shall return to being a hunter gatherer quite soon. I wonder what the resources will be there.

I hope there are no Panto Politicians. Please!

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