Anger, Stress, Unhappiness

The mirror view

We are angry at ourselves more than at other people. We may have been duped, fooled, conned enough to make us angry. We may have made stupid mistakes that annoy us. We may be railing against something that happened in our childhood, maybe even something we don’t fully remember or understand. Internally we are angry. Fuming to the point where we are stressed.

Our anger manifests in various ways, most obviously in how we treat other people. It shows in our attitudes to those nearest to us. We may drink or take drugs, we may eat to excess, we may become hedonistic, a drug itself. What we are doing is harming people through harming ourselves. It is not in our nature to do that. We don’t approve of it in others and certainly not in ourselves. Our actions make us angry and stressed. The stress becomes too much. We may harm or even kill ourselves in ways that are more gradual and subtle than the most obvious.

The result of what is happening is unhappiness, the opposite of what we set out to find. When we are unhappy we build a deeply resentful attitude to life. Our time is spent defending ourselves – to ourselves as much as to other people. We are forever metaphorically glancing in the mirror of life to see how we measure up but we never get a satisfactory answer. Our glances are superficial, transient and look for endorsement. Criticism is pushed aside.

The world is not going to change. Stress, and reasons for anger, are going to proliferate. We will be bombarded by many more media hell bent on getting viewers / readers regardless of how. Even the most stable and best friends will sometimes appear on Facebook or Instagram with radical, sometimes toxic, views. Trying to keep our young on a path we learnt and which has worked for us is a nightmare all parents experience. At 18 the gates are unleashed and your child is free.

Or, rather, free to join the enslaved, struggling to make a living, have a say, promote a standard. That’s not cynical, just realistic. Most will flourish. The world may be tough but for many including your children, it is making life more productive, faster earning and quicker promoting than at any time before. Money is around. Your children will attach some to themselves. A few will fall but not many. As a parent the only thing you have now to say to your children is that there is nothing they can do that would ever alienate you from them.

When your young know that they are secure. But the stress you felt bringing them up doesn’t go away. Now you have an empty nest but you also have a missing purpose. Children provided purpose. Once grown up it is accomplished and they should be allowed to live their lives as they want, not overcrowded by family. Parents who release children are the best parents. Parents who replace the purpose their children provided are the wisest parents and (soon) grandparents.

The widely felt stress and anger being exhibited in the polls, the choice of leaders and the general disruption for what has been for most a fairly stable political order, is not over. It will get more pressing. How should we deal with it? There are many ways. The best is to make those metaphorical glances in the mirror of life positive, deep and productive. Anytime is a good time but launching children into the world is a significant opportunity. If you can take a proper look at yourself, your skills – both those you have and those you need, your relationships, beginning to set for the rest of your life, your aspirations, desires, wishes. Now is time to get the Bucket List right.

One thorough examination and you will be set on a good course for the next stage of your life. The analysis you receive now will work for you if you review it yourself for many years to some. People look at their analysis sometimes every year, sometimes every six months and plot their progress, walk up the stairs of their development. When you know your destination you can enjoy the journey. When your purpose is clear you can marvel at how well you move towards it and how rewarding your life becomes.

Your work will involve helping others. That is the most rewarding work anybody does. It applies in corporate life, in small business management, in being an entrepreneur and venturing out alone. It is a challenge as high as Mt Everest, as deep as the Great Barrier Reef. Above all, it is doable, as thousands have discovered. If you want to know more ask for a description of PASDAQ® and I will send you details.

Whether you decide to do that or not please remember that only those who have a deep knowledge of themselves and a clear picture of where they are going are truly happy. And that happiness in not the transient satisfaction of instant reward or the glow of sudden success,

It is a durable, lasting happiness that survives as long as you do.

That’s pretty rewarding.